Am I There Yet?

So this particular song was recently swirling around inside my head and heart of late, which was somewhat of a mystery to me. It happened to pop up on Pandora radio while I was listening online and it just seemed to stick but I wasn't really sure why.  On the surface this song seemed all wrong for me. After all, I'm not "going home." I have no childhood home to go back to and I'm not even sure which home I would call "home" if I was able to return. So why the song?

Home - Daughtry
I'm staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain
I'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain

Well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from, no, I think you've got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home, well I'm going home

The miles are getting longer it seems, the closer I get to you
I've not always been the best man or friend for you, but your love remains true
And I don't know why, You always seem to give me another try

So I'm going home, back to the place where I belong

And where your love has always been enough for me

I'm not running from, no, I think you've got me all wrong

I don't regret this life I chose for me

But these places and these faces are getting old

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all

You just might get it all, and then some you don't want

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all

You just might get it all, yeah

Oh, well I'm going home, back to the place where I belong

And where your love has always been enough for me

I'm not running from, no, I think you've got me all wrong

I don't regret this life I chose for me

But these places and these faces are getting old

I said these places and these faces are getting old

So I'm going home, I'm going home

As I pondered all this in my heart I realized I felt terribly homesick, not for a physical place but for the comfort of love, for the home Bill and I had together - no matter where we were. I have family. I'm not alone in this world, but I am homesick for a place to which I can never return. I wonder if Adam and Eve felt like that when they were banished from the Garden of Eden…sent away from the special presence of God.  This separation of the veil between God and man went on and on until Jesus came and tore that veil away by His sacrifice for us, His death on the cross to cover our sin, to reconcile us to God as it was in the beginning. No more veil, no more banishment - welcome home.  So I take this and I ask myself, "How do I get home?" My heart is searching for a banished home but God, with His love remaining true, offers up an even greater home in Him. He says that we are strangers in this land, and so our hearts long for their eternal homes in heaven. Surely this home will satisfy my yearnings. So for now I console myself with the remembrance that because I've been reconciled, it's normal to feel homesickness now and again. Jesus went and prepared a place for me. It's ready and waiting for me to move in and, what's more, Bill's already there, telling my mom that someday I'm coming home.