Peace Be With You

Beach Memorial

Click on above picture for album.

Today is the one-year mark, the day family and I will commemorate our love for Bill and take time to remember his very unique and special life here on this earth. The past, present, and future all collide into our moments of memorialization - the memory of his life, the acceptance of our present circumstances, and hope for the future.

The very best years of my life were spent with Bill. He was delightedly childlike in his wonder for the world around him, yet wise in his love for the Lord, and he always, always made me feel special.  I miss him and will always miss him. I am glad now that he is no longer ill, no longer trapped in a confining body of deteriorating cells and bones, that his spirit now knows true freedom in the presence of God.  However, I am here, and the house is silent.  I rejoice for him now, but I still grieve my loss, for how great is the loss of a best friend.  I rely on the words of God that He is our first love, that He will never leave us nor forsake us, and that He has overcome this world.  My hope for the future depends on this faith.

At Honeymoon Island we will release balloons in our symbolic gesture of love and comfort one another. Life can be terribly hard and yet wondrous if we choose our perspective carefully. God has set eternity in our hearts, and it gives me peace to know that we were created for more than what we see. While now the glass for us is murky, for Bill it is completely clear, and someday I too shall see His truth and purpose.

I Don't Know Why I Thought of the Fly

A few days ago I was driving my car when all of the sudden I heard it, and then I saw it - a really big fly buzzing around, frantically trying to escape my moving vehicle. Bug splats on the outside of the windshield are annoying enough, but live bugs on the inside of the windshield is just a big NO in my book. However, I took pity on him and figured I'd roll down the side window and let him out.  So while movin' on down the road I  began opening and closing car windows - I rolled down the passenger window but he wouldn't leave, I rolled down the driver's side window, but he wouldn't leave, I rolled them both down together, and he wouldn't leave - all while trying to stop and go on Florida Avenue with a million traffic lights.  The one thing that fly wanted most was what I was trying to give him, but he was bound and determined to get what he wanted his own way.  He wanted to go through the windshield, and he was so blinded by his own focus that he completely missed his opportunity.

Ever feel like this? I'm certain I've been guilty of it. Lord, I want what I want, when I want it, how I want it! I'm working so hard to accomplish my goal, but maybe the way I'm going about it won't work. Maybe God's saying - "Hey, over here!"  "Psst!  That window's closed, but this window's open!"  Maybe if I decided to stop my frenzied flight it would give me time to look around and see that God's already made a way - it's just not the way I expected. Life has so many roads to choose and paths to walk. It's good to stop and get some directions from the Master. If I'm enclosed in sorrow or grief, troubles or despair, and I'm looking for a way out, He can show me - and that definitely beats slamming my head against the glass over and over and over any day.

Getting the Message

Ever have a recurring theme in your life?  No matter where you go and where you turn, there "it" is again?  Well, I find that is often how God chooses to speak to me. Recently He's been trying to teach me about His love for me and my friendship with Him - namely, how much He loves me, and certainly how I can in turn be a better friend to Him.

I recently received a copy of the book Lazarus Awakening ~ Finding Your Place in the Heart of God, by Joanna Weaver. You may recognize her as the author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. While there were moments that my attention strayed from this newest book, the moments that did grab my attention were profound. Just having lost my husband less than a year ago to cancer, sometimes I admit I don't always feel completely loved by God. I have days where I feel somewhat abandoned, alone in this valley. However, Joanna uses her writing to tenderly remind readers how much our Creator cares, even when things look utterly dismal. My faith became sight when reading her interpretation of "Come and See."

"Where have you laid him?" Jesus asked Martha and Mary through His tears (John 11:34).

"Come and see, Lord," they replied. Then together they went to Lazarus's tomb.

Oh how I wish we could grasp the immensity and emotion of this tender exchange and what it means for us today.

Where have you laid your pain? Jesus asks us tenderly. Where do you keep all your shattered hopes and dreams? Where have you laid the part of you that died when you failed or were abandoned, forgotten, or betrayed? Where are you entombed and enslaved, hemmed in, shut down, and closed off?

Come and see, Lord.

That's the only response we need to give. Come and see.

Thank you Joanna for this reminder that when the tomb is shut and dark, and the grave clothes are wound and bound, that Jesus is coming. He's on His way to come and see, and in perfect time will be there to call my name, to wake me from my sleep, and to restore me to life.

If this speaks to you as it did to me, then begin with Chapter 1. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.