Going On...and On

So there's a new TV show that I started watching this season called "Go On." It centers around a widower who after having just lost his wife joins a grief support group...mmm sound familiar? Yeah, I remember thinking when I saw it advertised - and how are they going to make this funny? I watched it mostly out of curiosity the first couple of times and I was somewhat disgusted at how fluffy they made the main character, Ryan. He was sad but he wasn't devastated. He didn't have trouble remembering just to move much less continue to function at his job, his house remained magically clean, and he never ever cried - but then I guess it really wouldn't have been all that funny if he had. Ryan has in sitcom-like fashion fast forwarded his grief in one TV season to the place that I hold now three years later. Three years squished into three months - yes, it would have been nice to suffer less and laugh more. However, my love for Bill deserved more than three months of grief and I would have lost all the knowledge that I have gained about myself in these past few years if grief were like a TV show to be glossed over and made funny.

So in thinking about the journey I have been on, I was drawn to Psalm 50:14-15: 14) Let the giving of thanks be your sacrifice to God; and give the Almighty all that you promised. 15) Call to me when trouble comes; I will save you, and you will praise me.

During life with it's many ups and downs, mountaintops and valleys, giving thanks is sometimes a sacrifice. It's not always easy. Sometimes I don't want to be thankful. Lord, I've had a rough time here and you want me to be thankful? Well, yes - yes He does. He's not asking us to be thankful for the bad. He's just asking us to be thankful for the fact that He comes when there's trouble. When we say thank you in the storm it shows our faith, that we know He's there to save us, and when He comes our spirits can rest in our praise for him, despite the circumstances.

So while Ryan has lived in TV time, I have taken the longer journey and become better for it. I have found my thanksgiving in the midst of true trouble. God deserves my thanks, even when it is a sacrifice, because He always comes, He never forsakes, and when I truly praise Him is when I truly live and when I truly heal.

Until next time ~ L.